The hardest day – day 113

Woke up this morning a bit apprehensive but I have to do this! Once ready, and I didn’t think I would make it to the bus – fight or flight kicking in – avoidance…

As the bus arrived at the station the response was getting stronger… I alighted from the bus and walked over to the platform for my train. The emotion is climbing!

The train arrived and once I sat down in the train, I started to feel ”outside” of myself, looking down at me wondering why I am going through with this. Home would be a better refuge! The nauseous feeling is growing!

After 4 stations I have calmed down, more for the realisation that I am getting further from home and my work colleagues are my next port of call for refuge!

The 3.30 am start to the day doesn’t help!

Fingers crossed for a good day after all!

Arrived at work with a feeling of nauseousness, trembling, and a dry mouth. None of my supervisors had arrived, so started the computer and gathered my thoughts.

After speaking to crucial people made my way home and gained a psychologist appointment.

The psychologist explored all aspects of my recent life. The end result being, to get a decent night’s sleep.

After the appointment went home and downloaded the recommended apps:

Also, access the following:

  • Podcast – “Sleep with me
  • Youtube – “Ambrose McKinnery” – problem-solving



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